Harry Romanoff-Barton
by Eternity sword
Summary: Let's all admit it: leaving Harry on a doorstep was pretty careless. So what happens when Black Widow finds him after a mission in Surrey?
1. Chapter 1

Natasha could say that she was very weary. Of course the spy/ assassin wouldn't actually say it, but she was quite tired after her latest mission in Britain. To make matters even worse, she ended up blowing up the car she was using, so she had to walk back to base.

So here she was walking back to base, at night, in November, in Surrey. And when she got to base, she'd likely end up spending another night before flying back. At least she'd still have Clint. He was the only other Avenger to come on the mission; everyone else had been too preoccupied with whatever caught their interest. And then Clint broke his ankle. At least it wasn't a bad break- he'd be fully functional in no time.

_Boring house number forty seven_, she thought, _boring house number forty eight… I think living with Stark is preferable to this place._ Privet drive was easily the dullest neighborhood Natasha had ever had the misfortune of walking through. _Boring house number… what is that?_

Natasha stopped, staring at the doorstep of one of the houses. She blinked, not entirely trusting her eyes. She looked around, the neighborhood seemed so calm and dreadfully normal, the only thing that seemed odd was the baby on the doorstep of number 4 Privet Drive. She walked over tentatively. Why was there a baby outside? And who's baby was it? Was she hallucinating? She didn't think she was _that_ tired.

When she reached the doorstep she kneeled down. She touched the baby lightly, taking care not to wake it up. It was real. And that meant that this was actually happening.

Natasha had never had any plans on having a child. She'd never had any interest in them. But seeing this baby out, she was overwhelmed with concern that gave her energy. She wasn't tired any more, too anxious over this small creature, especially as she saw a strange cut on his forehead. Did someone do that on purpose? She picked the child up, and as she did, she found a letter in the blanket. This had better have some answers, she thought. And they had better be good. What could possibly excuse leaving a baby outside, alone, at night, in Surrey, _in November_?

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley,

I am terribly sorry to inform you of the death of your in-laws James and Lily Potter. They were killed yesterday evening by a dark wizard who goes by the name of Voldemort. He also tried to kill their son, your nephew, Harry. However due to unknown causes, Voldemort's spell rebounded, killing him, and leaving young Harry with only a cut, and ending the dark wizards reign of terror.

Unfortunately, he still has supporters, and they may try and seek Harry out to try and kill him in revenge. I have placed wards around your house so that he can't come near you and your family so long as Harry remains with you until he's seventeen. As such, and as his last living relatives, I have given him to you to raise as your own.

Wishing you well,

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

Natasha read it over three times, hardly believing it. Wizards? She looked at the boy. Alright, she thought. Why not? I'm on a team with a genius, super soldier, a god, and a giant green rage monster, so I guess I can believe in wizards. She read it a fourth time. So the boy was orphaned by an evil wizard. Were his parents wizards, too? And if he must go to his aunt and uncle, couldn't this Dumbledore guy have at least made sure he made it inside?

She knocked on the door. Nothing happened. She knocked again. She heard another baby crying inside. A few minutes later a fat man with a stupid looking mustache came out. He glared at her, his face a rather comical shade of purple.

"What do you want?" he said angrily. "Waking us up in the middle of the night. Who is up at this ungodly hour?" Natasha frowned. This Dumbledore was sounding more and more like a fool.

She handed him the letter. "You in-laws are dead," she said bluntly. "This is their son. Apparently, you and your wife are his new guardians." She made an attempt to smile, but the purple man made that difficult as he groaned.

"Pe-petunia!" he tried to shout. A few moments later a blonde woman with a really long neck came out, trying to calm down a wailing baby. Who knew hippos could reproduce with giraffes?

"What?" she snapped. Natasha tried to judge her and her husband. After all, Natasha had woken them up in the middle of the night, and they were parents of a… baby. Why did that one have to cry so much?

Harry woke up and started crying, much to the horror of the Durleys.

"Shut it down!" Mr. Dursley hissed. "You'll wake the neighbors!"

"And yours won't?" she shot back. Both of the babies were crying, but the Dursley was being much more obnoxious. Natasha soothed the baby to the best of her ability, and after a few moments he calmed down.

"Vernon," Petunia whimpered. "What is that?"

"He's your nephew," Natasha replied. Petunia looked horrified.

"Take him away! Why did you bring that freak here?"

"So, he is a wizard, then?" Natasha questioned, trying to ignore these Dursleys.

"Don't-say-it!" Vernon sputtered.

Natasha ignored him. "Your in-laws are dead," she said, taking the letter from Vernon and giving it to Petunia. "You're Harry's new guardians."

"We won't do it!" Vernon said. "We won't tolerate this nonsense!"

"Vernon," Petunia said. "This says our house will be protected if we take him in." Vernon looked at her. "It won't be too difficult to raise him, and we'll be protected from… from their kind." Natasha looked at them. Who was this Dumbledore and had he ever met these people?

She stepped away from the Dursleys, moving her arm almost protectively over Harry. "If I give him to you, what will you do?"

"We'll feed him," Petunia said. "And when Dudley's done with his clothes, the boy can have them-"

"No," Natasha said. "You aren't raising this boy."

"But that letter," Petunia started.

"I'm not just leaving this baby with someone who'll probably starve and abuse him."

"Then what will you do?" Vernon said.

"I'll take him somewhere better than your place… and that doesn't take much. Now go back to sleep." She turned her heel and walked away.

"Hey, hey! Come back here!" Vernon said.

"I'm an assassin," Natasha said bluntly. "One of the best in the world. Now go back to sleep, or there'll be two orphans." Dursley turned white as a sheet, and went back inside with his wife. Natasha stood for a moment, then reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone.

"Natasha?" came Clint's worried voice. "Where've you been? Are you okay?" Natasha smiled at his concern.

"I'm fine, Clint. I just blew up my car, is all. I've been walking back to base."  
"Alright… but shouldn't you be back by now?"

"Ah… I got side tracked."

"YOU got sidetracked? What-?"

"What do you know about babies?" Natasha interrupted. There was silence for a moment.

"Not much…" Clint said hesitantly. "Natasha… what…?"

"Look up as much as you can. About babies and wizards. I've got quite the story to tell."

**Hello! So I hope everyone enjoyed that! This is my third story on here, and I'm not going to deny that all my stories are going at the same time. That said, I'm prioritizing by popularity. So if you like this, please review so I know what people want to read. My other stories are The Best Man and The Gambler's Stone, both are also HP fanfics, so feel free to check them out.**


	2. Chapter 2

"So…" Clint said. "Baby." It wasn't a question, especially since said baby was right in front of him, in Natasha's arms, but she nodded. "Wizard?" She nodded again. "Wizard baby, huh? Remember what Tony said last week about how we should make a list of the most ridiculous ways possible our missions could go wrong? I think finding an orphaned wizard baby should be on that list."

"At number one," Natasha said. Harry had been well-behaved, more so than she thought possible. "You said Stark's going to contact us?"

"Yeah. After you told me about what happened, I called him and asked if he could help us find any more relatives to take care of him."

"And he couldn't have done that then? I know how fast he hacks and hijacks."

"He was in a meeting," Clint said, lips twitching upwards.

"He doesn't go to meetings."

"He did it for Pepper, so Pepper would go on a date with him afterwards."

Natasha nodded. Typical Stark. He probably sped through the meeting, casually insulting everyone else. Their laptop sprung to life with Stark's face smiling.

"Hello, Clint, Nat- _what the hell is that?_" Stark was looking at Harry, gaping, and for once in his life, speechless.

"It's a baby," Natasha said simply. Stark came out of his shock.

"It's a- I know what that is! But what the hell is it doing here? Baby! How? Where did it come from?" He looked between Natasha and Clint. "What did you-?"

"It's not ours!" Clint said. "For crying out loud, how many times have I told you, Natasha and I have never had-"

"I found him on a doorstep," Natasha explained. "His parents were killed by an evil wizard, he's probably one too, some idiot named 'Dumbledore' left him on his aunt and uncle's doorstep at night, I found him, and spoke with his relatives, and frankly, I think the boy would be better off being raised by wolves than those… people." Stark looked at her incredulously.

"Or assassins? Were these people really that bad?" Natasha nodded. Stark let out a whistle. "Wow. So what do you need me for?"

"I was hoping you'd find some more relatives of this kid's," Clint said. "I mean, surely the kid has someone decent he can go to."

"Ah, got it! I'll have that in just a few moments, if you tell me his name," Stark replied.

"His name's Harry Potter. I don't know his middle name, but judging by his size, I'd say he's about a year old. Maybe a few months more," Natasha answered. Stark searched, and searched, and broadened all his searching to the entirety of Europe, and then searched the entire world. "His parent names were James and Lily Potter," Natasha added. Stark shook his head.

"Nada, zilch, nothing. This kid doesn't exist. Neither do his parents. Maybe it's because of the wizard thing?"

Clint laughed. "Natasha didn't even explain as much as she did to me, and you don't question this 'wizard thing'?"

"Nope. Frankly, I think I stopped questioning things around the time I teamed up with a couple assassins, a demigod, a super soldier from the 40's and a hulk to fight a god of mischief with an alien army. Nope, no questioning here. If we're attacked by a purple spaghetti monster, I won't even blink." Clint laughed while Natasha gave a small smile. Stark was annoying, but he did know how to lighten situations.

"Okay, then. So now what do we do?" Clint said. "The kid doesn't exist, I don't know if we can even give him to a hospital or orphanage. And that evil wizard had some people that worked for him and may come after the kid, and the only protection the kid has is the house of his suck-ass relatives."

At this moment, Harry woke up, and began crying. "Ah, no, no, kid don't cry!" Stark said, looking at Clint and Natasha. "Do something! Ah, hell! Guys?"

Natasha tried to sooth him. When that didn't work, she considered what else may be the problem. Perhaps he was hungry. She looked at Clint. "What do babies eat?" She rarely felt embarrassed, but she did at that moment. Was she supposed to know?

Clint looked panicked. "How should I know? I've never had to take care on one before!"

"I told you to look it up!"

"Try milk," Stark said. "I think that's a safe plan."

Natasha looked at him. "Do you know anything about babies?"

"Ah… no. Honestly, I've never taken care of one, either. Don't want to either. But I think they usually give babies milk in movies, so we'll try that," Stark said. Natasha grabbed some milk from their portable fridge. How much did babies drink?

Clint was looking at Stark. "They also like to pull bullets out of people in movies. Doesn't mean it's a good idea." Natasha was holding a small glass of milk. Could babies drink out of glasses? Probably not, but there weren't any alternative that they could think of.

"I don't think milk's going to kill him," Natasha said. She offered it to the crying baby, slowly tipping it. Harry seemed confused, but he swallowed what made it into his mouth. The rest ended up on Natasha's clothes and the floor. Harry was no longer crying. Was he smiling? Natasha swore he was smiling. Cute, she thought to herself. She was surprised by the thought. When had she ever thought anything was cute? Nonetheless she smiled back.

"Ma-Muh," Harry said. Everyone froze. What did he just say? "Ma-Muh."

Stark sniggered. "Well, look at this! Who knew the Black Widow had a maternal side?" Clint was smiling too, looking at Natasha.

"I… don't know why he's saying that. I haven't had him that long, just a couple hours. Maybe I just look like his mother- I don't think he's old enough to tell similar looking people apart." Everyone stood around for a moment as Harry was held by Natasha.

"Right…as I was saying," Clint said. "What are we doing with him?"

"Bring him back here," Stark suggested. "We could find some agent of S.H.E.I.L.D. to take him. He can't get much safer than in their hands." Natasha frowned.

"You don't really believe that," she said. You hate S.H.I. . And in this case, I agree with you." Clint looked at her.

"What do you mean? The kid does need protection, 'Tasha."  
"Yes. And you can get safer than what you suggested, Tony. There's nowhere safer than the Avenger's Tower." Seeing the two men's shocked expressions, she took a breath. "I just don't trust anyone else with this boy. And he already trusts us. I'm going to raise him."

**Wow! I honestly didn't think that this would be so popular. I mean...geez! I'm just...wow. I think there were a few people who were worried that I'd abandon this, but don't worry. That's my #1 rule: no abandoning fics. So, no worries, okay?**

**I mentioned how I'm kind of working on a priority system when it comes to my fics, right?**

**1. Harry Romanoff-Barton (in less than 24 hours!)**

**2. The Best Man (this is another Harry Potter fanfic, a series of connected oneshots detailing a HHR affair)**

**3. The Gambler's Stone (also Harry Potter. Basically, if the Dursleys made different choices, such that they were completely different people. Very different.)**

**So, yeah, please tell me what you think, okay?**


	3. Chapter 3

Nick Fury appraised his agents with a neutral face. "And there weren't any complications? None at all?"

Natasha shook her head. "Besides Barton breaking his ankle, the mission went as planned. We gathered intelligence, and neutralized the threat in Britain."

Clint looked at Fury indignantly. "Why were you expecting complications? When have we ever let you down?" He was smiling, joking.

"Ever since I introduced you to Stark," Fury said. "I have no doubts about the Avengers Initiative, but I also don't have any doubt that Stark's been a bad influence on you." Clint was grinning, and even Fury cracked a small smile. Natasha observed the situation- Clint was acting normal, though she felt he shouldn't joke so much. If he joked anymore Fury may notice Clint's anxiety.

"If we're done," she said, "Clint needs to relax to let his ankle heal, and I need some time to rest myself."

Director Fury nodded. "You've both been working hard. Go ahead, I'll try not to send you on anything unless it's absolutely necessary for a week." Clint and Natasha left him, making sure they didn't seem like they were in a hurry. This was slightly helped by Clint being on crutches- he couldn't go fast if he tried. They reached the quinjet, and once they did, they checked on Harry, who was still sound asleep.

"Do all babies sleep this much?" Clint inquired. Natasha glanced at him as she flew the quinjet. She raised an eyebrow pointedly. "Okay, you don't know. Was it really necessary to lie to director Fury? I mean, we're not buddies, but I don't usually lie to higher ranking officials, especially not _Nick Fury_."

Natasha nodded. "I don't like it either, Clint. But it's as I said before: Nick Fury is reasonably trustworthy. He wouldn't hurt Harry. But once he knows, the World Security Council will, and I don't trust them." Clint accepted that- frankly, how could anyone trust them after they tried to nuke Manhattan?

Soon enough they were at the Avengers Tower, formerly Stark Tower. Natasha and Clint exited the quinjet, and made their way to the (topmost) kitchen.

"They are expecting Harry, aren't they?" Natasha asked Clint. On their way back Natasha had been preoccupied with preparing to lie to Nick Fury with Clint, hiding a baby, and taking care of the baby, she'd never contacted Bruce, Steve and Thor to make sure they knew about the newest resident of Avengers Tower.

Clint nodded. "Of course, I told Tony to tell them. They all know." They entered the kitchen. Bruce was making his own breakfast, Steve was sitting and reading the newspaper, and Thor was sitting beside him eating poptarts. Steve looked up, ready to say hello, until he saw what- who- Natasha was carrying. He nudged Thor, pointing out the baby to him. Thor sprang from his seat.

"Congratulation, friends! I know not how you've come by this child, but it is a most wonderful creature!" He bounded to where Clint, Natasha, and Harry were, a huge grin on his face. Bruce, however, had forgotten about his breakfast, looking horrified.

"What- no, no, no! I-you can't, no!" Bruce put out. He took a deep breath. "What were you thinking- why have you brought a _baby_ here?"

"Stark didn't tell you?" Natasha said in a neutral voice. And one shouldn't be fooled- he neutral voice was scarier than any angry voice.

"Tell us?" Steve said. He groaned. "Tony!" Tony immediately entered, grinning, despite the angry expressions around him.

"Hey, nice to see you two made it back vomit-free! And here's little Harry, finally in the flesh!" Tony looked at the baby. He came towards him, and smiled at him. "Hey there, little guy."

"Tony," Steve interrupted. "You knew Natasha and Clint were bringing a baby back?"

"Of course," Tony said.

"You were supposed to warn them," Clint told him.

"Decided it'd make a better surprise, y' know? Besides, I've been too busy looking for furniture to put in his nursery."

"Nursery?" Steve said, sounding only half-surprised. "So…you're actually adopting a baby? You two?"

"No!" Bruce exclaimed. "No babies! Have you all forgotten about the Other Guy? We've been lucky so far, but do you really want to risk _a baby_? What if the Other Guy comes, I don't see a baby having much of a chance."

Everyone was quiet for a moment. Then Steve spoke, "Would you two like to explain how this baby…"

"Harry," Natasha provided.

"How Harry came to be in your possession, and why you've decided to take him in permanently?"

Natasha explained how she found Harry on a doorstep, and how his relatives were so unpleasant, she couldn't leave him with them. She explained the letter, how Harry was apparently a wizard. There were a few questions throughout her explanation, and they understood why she had brought Harry to be raised at the tower.

Bruce moved nervously. "Okay, I understand why he's being raised here, but…"

"It'll be fine," Clint assured him. "You have the Other Guy under control. And if anything does happen, we'll make sure Harry's safe."

Bruce still looked apprehensive. He shook his head. He turned, going towards the elevator.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked, concerned.

"To my room," Bruce answered. "I'll be back." He left the others.

Thor was still grinning. "May I hold him?" Natasha handed Harry to Thor, who was surprisingly gentle when he held him. "He's so small," Thor said.

"Yeah, that applies to all babies, Thor," Tony said. "I don't even need to have experience with them to know that."

"Of course," Thor said. "But I rarely have the chance to be so close to such young creatures." Thor smiled when Harry woke up. Harry looked at Thor for a few moments and smiled back. Thor looked at Steve. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Sure," Steve said. He took Harry. "Hello, Harry." Steve held him for a few moments, and looked over to Natasha. "I'm open to raising Harry here. I know that few, if any of us, have experience with parenting, but most parents aren't experts either."

Tony nodded enthusiastically. "And there's six of us. Seriously, with six of us here, we can't mess up too badly." He was smiling.

Clint was smiling. "Exactly! If we can save the world, certainly we can raise Mr. Wizard Baby. Can't be too hard."

**Sorry this has taken awhile! Especially sorry if this chapter sucks! Please tell me if this chapter sucked, and I'll go back and fix it if it did. What did you think of the Avengers being introduced to Harry?**


	4. Chapter 4

The Avengers minus Bruce (who knew what he was doing?) were sitting around the kitchen, watching with interesting reactions as Natasha bottle fed Harry. It hadn't occurred to any of them that the Black Widow could be a mother to anyone- but then, it hadn't occurred to her either.

After a few more minutes Bruce came out. He took a deep breath, looking exhausted, and walked back over to them.

"So," he began awkwardly. "We're really doing this then?" Seeing everyone's resolute expressions, he nodded. "Okay. Okay, then…But just to make sure we're all clear on this: if the Other Guy comes out, getting Harry to safety is top priority." The others all nodded vigorously. Bruce looked at Harry in Natasha's arms. "Ah, hello, Harry." He smiled nervously. Harry smiled and giggled. Bruce's nervous smile grew.

"So, now that's taken care of, how'd you guy like to take a look at his nursery?" Tony asked, looking excited. Natasha didn't like that look on his face- it was far too excited. It was the sort of face he had when he was about to do something nobody with common sense would attempt.

Clint raised his eyebrows. "You can't have already created a nursery. I mean, you had forewarning, but not _that much_ time."

Bruce looked at Tony critically. "You were in your workshop the entire time, Tony." He hesitated. "You, ah...you didn't make a nursery _in there_, did you?"

"Of course not! And I've only started it. It's on Natasha's floor. You don't have a problem with that, do you?" he asked Natasha. She shook her head.

"It's fine. I'd have asked you to put it next to my room, anyways."

"Great! Come on, just wait until you see the crib I made him!" Tony took off, practically running to Harry's new nursery. Natasha and Clint followed, Natasha walking slowly with Harry in her arms, Clint looking rather apprehensive. Bruce followed, with Steve and Thor by him.

Steve looked nervous. "Is he…qualified to make cribs?" Steve asked.

Thor grinned. "Certainly, he has done well! A simple crib is nothing beside his other creations!"

"His other creations are _weapons_," Bruce pointed out. Thor's smile faltered for a moment.

"But he isn't stupid," Steve put in, reassuring Thor. "He's…eccentric is all. He wouldn't give a baby a weapon."

When they reached the room that was to be Harry's nursery, Tony led them right in.

"So, I know we should probably paint the walls something else, but I couldn't decide- I'm taking your opinions into account. I've also had JARVIS looking for toys, and I've taken the liberty of ordering more baby supplies to be delivered to us, but most importantly- his crib!" Tony said, grinning. He pointed to a metal crib-shaped thing on the floor. It could probably fit another baby or two in there, and was…not off the ground.

"Uh, correct me if I'm wrong here," Clint said. "But shouldn't it be a little higher off the ground?"

Tony nodded. "Of course. See, that's why I had to build it myself. Here's the remote." To Clint's horror, Tony pulled out a remote (which had a disturbing amount of buttons-were they all for the crib? What did Tony think cribs were for?) and pushed one of the buttons. The crib…activated, flying up several feet above ground, by the same sort of technology that he used on his suit. There was _fire_ coming out on the bottom.

"It can go closer to the floor, or higher up. With this," he said, placing his finger on an arrow button, "I can move it around the room- or the entire tower even." Tony was grinning- the others weren't. Bruce groaned, Thor simply stared, trying to decide how to react to the…crib-thing. Clint was glaring at Tony and at his…thing-that-was-not-a-freakin'-crib and Natasha had taken a cautious step away from the crib. Steve was staring at it neutrally. He knew that Tony was a genius, a man beyond his time. He knew that this wasn't the 1940's, and he'd seen Tony's technology work miracles on multiple occasions. But he couldn't help but be reminded of another time he'd seen a Stark showing a flying thing- Howard's flying car.

Which malfunctioned and nearly blew up.

"Tony," Steve said. "I'm not sure that thing is such a good idea…"

"It's fire hazard, Stark," Natasha said. "I'm not putting Harry anywhere near that thing." Tony opened his mouth to protest.

"Not everything has to be out of a sci-fi movie," Clint said.

Tony looked around. "Bad idea?" he polled. Seeing everyone nod, he frowned. "Fine. But, otherwise, good nursery?" At this, everyone nodded.

"Make sure there's a good ventilation shaft in here," Clint said. "I need to be able to keep an eye on Harry."

"You don't need to crawl in the vents to watch over your kid," Bruce pointed out.

"But it gives me the best view," Clint protested. He looked around the room. "I vote we repaint the walls purple and black."

Tony made a barfing motion. "Knew I should have gone ahead and had it painted without you. We should paint it red and yellow."

The two of them were soon bickering over what color Harry's nursery should be, with the others shaking their heads, occasionally tossing in their own opinions. All in all, it seemed that they had gotten a pretty good start to their new job as parents.

A couple days later, most of the avengers were out- Natasha and Clint had gone to find actual furniture for Harry, Tony was dealing with some other idiots who tried to recreate the Iron Man suit, Thor was on Asgard, and Steve had gone...somewhere. Bruce forgot. Or maybe he hadn't asked to begin with. The latter, actually.

So he was the one babysitting Harry. He looked at Harry, who blinked looking at him.

"Hello, Harry," Bruce said. He sat in silence for a few more minutes. "I know you can talk. I know you can- I've heard you call Natasha Mama, several times." Harry blinked and stared back at Bruce. "Do you know any other words?" Harry stared. Bruce frowned, concentrating. "Say 'dada'. Do you know 'Dada'?" Harry blinked. "Dog?"

"Pafoo!" Bruce blinked.

"Dog," Bruce stated again.

"Pafoo!" Harry said. What did "pafoo" have to do with dogs? What was a pafoo for that matter? Something to do with wizards, Bruce supposed.

"Try…uh, try 'duck,'" Bruce suggested. Harry's eyes seemed to recognize that word. Except…

"Duckeefers!" Harry giggled. And it was in that moment that the couch Bruce was sitting on turned into about twenty ducks. "Quack, quack!" camw noises all around Bruce, as Harry giggled. Bruce propped himself up from the ground and looked at Harry.

"Not exactly what I had in mind," he said dryly.

This may be a little more difficult that we'd thought.

**I really hope this is good! Is it? I sort of just typed this one up on the spot, cause I'm also working on several other fics, and I'm making sure that none are forgotten.**

**As for the Duckeefers moment, there are several examples of ducklifors, but I don't remember if it's ever in anything but in a HP video game...**

**Note: I updated The Gambler's Stone a couple days ago, planning on updating The Best Man next.**

**So...how was this? Please review. Pretty please. As a birthday gift?**


	5. Chapter 5

At first, Bruce wasn't particularly concerned about the twenty something ducks in the tower. Looking back, he knew he probably should have reacted sooner. Of course, at first he was still wrapping his head around the fact that those ducks were a couch ten minutes prior.

When he finally did wrap his head around that, he realized something.

There had been around twenty a few minutes ago.

He was only looking at three.

He noticed two of them getting awfully close. His first reaction: at least they're in groups.

His second observation…

"Tony's going to kill me."

* * *

Dodge, dodge, dodge. Shoot.

"And another idiot's miserable attempt at recreating my suit fails," Tony said. Honestly-some of these attempts were just pathetic. Most, actually.

Checking the time, he made quick work of the situation and made to head back to the tower. He couldn't wait to see how Bruce and Harry were doing.

* * *

Natasha and Clint were shopping for baby supplies. They knew what they were doing.

Sort of.

Truth be told, they were overwhelmed, looking at all these things, these essentials. Everything claimed to be essential, but surely they didn't need everything?

In the end, they just threw one of everything in the cart. They saw a mother shopping and she came near them. Natasha subtly observed her- maybe she knew what she was doing. Clint frowned as he compared two different diaper brands.

"This one's scented," he announced. He looked up at Natasha.

She looked at the box of diapers dubiously. "I doubt it would make much of a difference. It might make the smell worse."

"And it might irritate your baby's skin," the woman said. She smiled broadly at them. "I'm Beth. I'm guessing this is your first one?"

"What?" Clint said.

"Your first baby," Beth clarified.

"Yes," Natasha said.

"Well, congratulations," Beth said. "Mark-my husband- and I had our first about five years ago. Just ten months after our wedding, too." She looked pointedly at Natasha and Clint. For a moment they didn't quite get what she was getting at.

"What-no, no," Clint said. "Natasha and I, we are not-"

"We aren't together," Natasha said simply. "And Harry isn't exactly ours. We're raising him, along with our housemates. And we're sort of new at this."

Beth nodded, understanding. "Need a hand?"

"Please?" Clint said, still holding onto the scented diapers.

* * *

Thor walked through the halls of Asgard. He considered the change in his life. He considered Midgard and her peoples; Midgard, the place that had become a second home. He considered Jane, her beauty, intelligence, and her kindness. He considered the Avengers, his brothers in arms. He considered his brother Loki…

He had to try and put that behind him-he didn't want to draw his friends' concern.

He considered little Harry, the magical Midgardian.

He would protect his friends' new charge.

* * *

Several hours later, Natasha and Clint had a full cart. It was filled with things that actually would be needed, such as a baby bottle (Beth had cringed as Clint recounted Natasha's attempt to feed Harry with a cup). Walking through the baby clothes section, the two of them were heading to the check-out line.

"Hang on-is that an Iron Man shirt?"

* * *

Steve was more than ready to get off of the helicarrier. He had done his part in the minor assignment, and he wanted to get back to the tower. He trusted Bruce, but he was sure Bruce would appreciate some help.

"Captain Rogers," came Agent Maria Hill's voice. Steve turned around.

"Agent Hill?"

She stopped. "I just noticed that you seem a little on edge. Is there a problem?"

"No," Steve said. Except the magical baby he and his teammates were secretly keeping.

Maria didn't look convinced. "You were twitching all throughout the meeting." Steve didn't say anything. "You kept looking at the clock."

"Just eager to go home, ma'am."

She raised an eyebrow. "You refused to look at Director Fury."

Steve opened his mouth and shut it. He couldn't tell Director Fury- not unless he wanted the World Security Council to know, and he most certainly did not. But he didn't want to _lie_. He took a breath. "It's embarrassing, Agent."

"I won't judge you."

"It may be embarrassing for you, too."

She stopped for a moment. "I'm…sure I've heard worse."

"Alright. Well, it's because of this dream I had…and in that dream…Fury lost his eye. Uh, his other eye, and ah, I'm the one that did it."

Maria looked at him. "You dreamt you poked Director Fury's eye out?"

Steve nodded. "Yes, ma'am…With a…paintbrush. And uh…I signed the paintbrush with a sharpie and gave it to Coulson for his birthday. His ghost, I mean… And Tony Stark carried Fury like a bride and ran across the ocean to you and uh, you kissed his eye better-"

"Okay, that's enough," Maria said. She was looking at Steve as though he'd lost his mind. "If you ever have another dream like that…just say so, and please spare me the details." With that, she turned around and walked off quickly. Steve let out his breath. He'd never realized he was so creative.

* * *

Two hours after they were heading to the check-out line, Natasha and Clint were in the tower's elevator. Clint had immediately begun looking for a Hawkeye shirt after seeing the Iron Man one. He had been disappointed to find that there wasn't one to be found.

"They have an Iron Man shirt, they have a Captain America shirt, they have a Thor shirt and they have Hulk shirt, but not a Hawkeye shirt?" He seemed genuinely insulted.

The two SHIELD agents had ended up spending and extra hour in the store, getting an increasing amount of odd stares.

The elevator reached the floor they'd set- the 'living room' floor, so to speak. It opened.

There was a duck.

There was a duck in the tower.

There was a duck in the living room.

Natasha glared at the duck-she didn't know what was going on, but she really didn't need ducks inside the tower after the last several hours.

Clint was gapping. "Natasha, that's a duck."

"I know it's a duck."

"But it's a duck! In the living room! How'd it even get in?"

Just then Bruce ran in from a hall, carrying Harry in one arm. The duck quacked and flew away. Natasha and Clint stared at Bruce.

"Oh, finally someone's back! You guys, you have to help me find the other ducks!"

"What?" Clint said, jaw dropping. He gapped at Bruce.

Natasha's eyes narrowed. "The other ducks? Just how many ducks are in the tower?"

"Uh…somewhere around twenty," Bruce responded.

"Bruce! How'd they even get in?"

"Harry did it," Bruce said. "See, these ducks…they used to be a couch…"

They were silent for a moment.

"Well," Clint said. "I for one was wondering when we'd see a bit of magic."

"Do you know where they all went?" Natasha asked.

"All over," Bruce said. "And it's…a little worse actually." He winced. "See, ah, that one that was just here, that one was male…uh, some are female."

"Are you telling me these ducks _are going mate in our tower_?"

"Uh…Yeah. I already caught a few. But there's still a lot all over the tower…Please help me find them! Tony will kill me if ducks take over his tower."

"I'll kill you if ducks take over the tower," Clint said. "Here, give Harry to me. I bought this cool baby-carrying backpack." He took Harry, and was now carrying him on his back. "Now," he said, getting his bow. "Let's hunt some duck."

"Clint," Natasha said. "You are NOT going to kill anything in front of Harry."

"Oh, come on, he won't remember-"

"No."

"I won't kill them then."

"No means no-you aren't shooting things in front of him."

Clint practically pouted. "Fine. I'll take my floor, you take your floors. We'll meet up afterwards, and hopefully Steve and Thor will come help us before Tony get home."

**Hello, everyone! I'm not dead! Sorry it's been a long time since I've updated, but I should be putting out more chapters now. This was originally going to be longer, but then it'd would have been like twice the size of all my other chapters, and I figured you guys would like to see this chapter. Sorry there wasn't much baby Harry in this chapter.**

**Please tell me what I did well and what I didn't-I love reading your reactions.**

**Also...it would be appreciated if anybody would read some of my other fics- I posted another chapter in Avengers Tower around a week ago, and nobody's reviewed it...**

**I hope I'm not pushing or forcing reviews. I also hope that every one enjoyed this.**

**Update: I've edited the chapter a bit- including lines to differentiate between the scenes. I planned to put them in to begin with, but I kinda forgot since I was in a bit of a hurry to post the chapter. It had been like a month since I'd updated, so yeah. Course it ended up being a day late anyways, cause there were some sort of issues with the site.**


	6. Chapter 6

Ducks.

Bruce decided that he officially hated ducks.

Feathery little demons, impossible to find, and they fly away the moment you do—it was impossible! _It really is impossible_, Bruce thought. _We'll never get all these ducks, much less before Tony gets back._ He winced. From the moment Tony had invited him to live in the tower, he'd worried that he'd…make a mess. Bruce supposed that this was the inevitable mess he'd been waiting for.

Of course Bruce had figured the mess would be less feathers, and more _smash_ and green.

* * *

"I'm never leaving you alone with Bruce again," Clint commented as he searched his floor for ducks. He was speaking to Harry, who was still in the baby carrier on his back. Clint sort of wished he could see Harry as he spoke—what was the baby's reaction to Clint talking? Was he paying attention? _Could_ babies pay attention? "You know, I really wonder what it feels like to be you right now. Maybe then I could figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with you. What's the deal with the ducks anyways? I mean, I didn't like that couch much either, but I don't shoot arrows into it." _Well_, Clint thought. _That actually isn't such a bad idea._

"Ducks!" he called. "Come out, ducks! I won't hurt you! Tasha says I'm not allowed." He tried to look over his shoulder, at Harry. "Natasha says I can't shoot things in front of you… 'No killing in front of the baby!' Nah, she didn't say it like that, of course. Still kinda funny, though." He smiled as he walked, still looking for the elusive ducks. "Natasha's a mother. Now there's one I definitely didn't see coming. Didn't see _you_ coming. But you know," he said thoughtfully. "I'm not that surprised that she's taken such a liking to you. I mean, you are a pretty likeable baby. But the more I think about it, the less strange it is to see Natasha hold you."

* * *

Natasha was having considerably more luck that her teammates. She'd already caught three. It was easier than the fight with the Chitauri. It was a little more aggravating though. She'd had a little more difficulty within the last few minutes; she hadn't been able to find any. She suddenly recalled _what (or who, depending on one's definition of a person) else_ was in the tower, and why hadn't she thought of it before?

"JARVIS," she called.

"Greetings, Ms. Romanoff," the AI answered.

"Ducks," she said simply. "In the tower. Can you track them for me?"

"I've already been monitoring them. Shall I inform you of where the one nearest to you current location?"

"Yes, please."

"Third door to your right. That is the last duck on this floor. May I suggest going down to Thor's floor next?"

Natasha gave a small smirk. "Thank you, JARVIS."

* * *

When Steve came home to the tower, he initially thought that it was like it usually was. Nothing had changed. One would never think that it now housed a magical baby. Steve continued to think this until he made it to his bedroom.

He opened the door.

Well, he hadn't seen that coming. Ducks?

There were two ducks in his room.

Steve blinked, and looked around. Was somebody watching this? Was this a joke?

Those ducks…they were…

"Oh." Steve's cheeks flushed. He took off his shirt…got closer, quietly, slowly, ignoring what they were doing in his room.

All at once he leapt to them, as they tried to fly off, he took the shirt and used it like a bag to catch them.

It worked. They were struggling, and Steve worried that they would get away. Shirts, after all, weren't made to be used to hold ducks. But what was he supposed to do?

He frowned, and once again looked around. How did those ducks get there? Stark? For a moment Steve wondered if it was some sort of prank Tony was pulling. If it was, he realized, Tony was probably watching from another room. Steve put a very fake, very annoyed, smile on his face.

"Ha, ha, yeah. Very funny, Tony. Put a pair of… _mating_ ducks in my room. You know, you're one of the oldest members of the team, but you just…" Steve trailed off, peeved at Tony. "You know what Tony? You really just…I try my best to get along, but this is just…I've had it. You like these ducks? You can have them. You can have the ducks do _things_ in _your_ room."

Steve left his room, still using his shirt as a net. Never, ever had he encountered anyone as infuriating as Tony Stark.

* * *

"…And Tony's just great company. I mean, he's not the sort of person who's just nicety, nice fake. He sort of annoys you, but you learn to like it. Steve's still learning. But I'm just glad to have them. Hell, that's almost as much of a surprise as you, Wizard Baby. But I bet you'll love growing up with all of us. Tasha as your mom, and Steve, Thor, Bruce, and Tony as your uncles—we'll spoil you rotten, of course," Clint said, grinning. He hadn't had any luck finding the ducks, but he'd actually enjoyed being with Harry, who'd just giggle occasionally.

"Duckee!" Harry giggled. Clint turned around quickly (he hoped that turning fast wouldn't be harmful to Harry) and true enough, there were four ducks. Clint raced towards them and they flew away. Clint chased after them. They kept on flying down the halls.

Ugh! He'd never catch them! He looked over his shoulder. "Don't tell your mother about this," Clint said conspiratorially. He took Harry off his back, set him on the floor of the hall, and took out his bow and an arrow. He saw the ducks further down the hallway.

He aimed, he let the arrow fly. It burst into a net, and swallowed the ducks up. Clint grinned. Harry giggled, amused. Clint looked down at Harry as he picked him up again.

"You like that? Hmm. Wonder how wizards are at archery. You know, I may just have to teach you."

* * *

Bruce was on the edge of turning green when Thor came back from Asgard. The moment Thor saw the green tint in his friend's skin, he came and tried to calm him down.

"What is wrong, Doctor? What angers you?"

"Ducks!" Bruce said. He rubbed his temple, and tried to calm down. Harry was in the tower, he reminded himself. Seeing Thor's confused expression, he explained. "…and we really don't want Tony to find out about this mess. I've found four of them, but they're so ridiculously hard to find, much less to _catch_."

Thor gave a huge smile. "It would be a pleasure to assist you, my friend."

Bruce gave an embarrassed smile back. "Thanks."

* * *

Soon enough, Natasha, Bruce, Clint, and Thor had rounded up twenty one ducks. They were pretty certain that this was all of them. They tried to decide what to do with them. They wondered if they could get Harry to turn them back, but ultimately decided not to test it. Harry, after all, was a baby and probably didn't have much control. The last thing they needed was for the ducks to be replaced with lions, or something.

Bruce's phone rang. He checked who it was. He groaned, looking at the others. He answered. "Hi, Tony."

"Bruce! Nice to hear you. How's Harry?"

"Harry's doing fine. Clint, Natasha, and Thor all got back, and he's been spending some quality time with Clint."

"I'm jealous. Can't wait to get home and spend some time with him myself! You know, on my way back, I've been thinking of some ideas for toys—don't worry, they're kid friendly, I assure you. No fire, or anything."

"And…when are you going to be home exactly?" Bruce couldn't keep his anxiety out of his voice.

"Two minutes top. Why-"

"Talktoyouthen." Bruce said quickly, snapping the phone shut. He looked frantically at the others. "Get the ducks outside, now."

The four avengers scrambled to get the twenty one ducks outside. Thankfully, they flew away. They all tried to look normal for when Tony got back. Bruce had his glasses on and read a random book he'd found. He didn't particularly like it, but it made it look normal. Clint turned on the TV. He'd wanted to watch The Woman In Black, but Natasha insisted that it wasn't appropriate to play in front of Harry.

("He's not actually watching it," Clint pointed out.

"It's a horror movie. Even I know better than to put a horror movie on in front of a baby.")

If you asked Clint, what they were watching now was much more horrifying.

Thor, like Bruce, grabbed a random book. His was in Chinese. Thor stared at it intently, pretending to absorb information.

This was the scene Tony arrived to. He greeted everyone, and went over to say hi to Harry, who was in Natasha's arms now. He found the situation…strange. It was normal…but not.

Just then, Steve walked in, not wearing a shirt.

Tony raised his eyebrow. "Did Harry puke on you?"

Steve raised an eyebrow back at him. "Sure Tony. The baby puked on me." He frowned. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you."

"I just got back. Why? Do you need something?"

Steve suddenly got this grin. He shook his head. "No, I don't need anything. I just wanted to say thank you."

Tony blinked. "Uh…you're welcome? What are you thanking me for?"

Steve laughed. "You know what for. I returned 'the favor.' It's in your room."

Tony blinked again. And again. "What the hell did you do to my room?" He turned to go to his room, but stopped for a moment. He turned to Thor. "Hey, Thor, buddy. You know you're reading that book upside down, right?"

Thor looked at the book. He hadn't understood the characters if the language, and had been holding it upside-down the entire time. He nodded. "Thank you."

"No problem." Tony raced to his room wondering what the hell _Captain America of all the freaking people_ had done to his room.

"When'd you get back, Steve?" Clint asked. Bruce and Thor both put down their books.

"About an hour ago," Steve answered.

"Really?" Bruce said. "Shame we didn't see you earlier. We really could have used more help."

Steve looked concerned. "What? What was wrong?"

"Our first encounter with magic," Bruce answered.

"He turned the couch into a bunch of ducks," Clint said (was that pride in his voice?)

Steve froze. "Ducks? He turned the couch into ducks?"

Clint nodded slowly. "That's what I just said."

"These ducks…where did they go?"

"Everywhere," Natasha replied.

"Worry not, Steven," Thor said. "We have already captured them all, and set them free."

"Oh, no," Steve groaned. "No, no, no."

"What's wrong?" Clint asked.

"I found a pair of ducks in my room. Doing…_things_. I thought it was a prank. I thought Tony…so I took the ducks and…" Steve stopped, blushing.

Bruce leapt up from his seat. "_What did you do with those ducks?_"

Steve winced.

The five avengers heard what sounded like a scream, muffled by the floors.

They waited for a few moments.

Tony appeared, gaping at Steve.

"_Ducks?_"

**Hello again! I really hope everyone enjoyed this!**

**Heads up, next chapter's going back to the wizarding world.**

**Um...what else is there?**

**If you want to know how I see the Avengers moving in together, I'm also writing a fic about that. So...please review?**


	7. Chapter 7

Albus sat at his desk contemplating recent events. It was roughly two weeks after Voldemort's…defeat (though Albus was certain it wasn't permanent). Two weeks after James and Lily Potter died. Albus was still wrapping his head around it. James and Lily…dead. So young.

Two more victims of his mistakes. How funny that so many people hailed him as the greatest wizard of the age, when he made so many deadly mistakes.

He went about his business mostly the same as usual—he saw no sense in causing his students alarm. But he spent more time than usual in his office, with his pensieve, going over the prophecy over and over again.

Unfortunately the meaning was all too clear, and it wouldn't change if he went over it every day until he died. Voldemort would be back. And Harry, so horribly young, would have to be the one to defeat him. Albus wished that it would be a very long time before that would be forced upon Harry, that he could grow up happily and safe, but he had a feeling that Harry's confrontation with Voldemort would come all too soon.

He heard the typical sound of someone flooing in, and he looked up to the fireplace. He found himself smiling.

"Alastor," he said as greeting. "What brings you here?" Alastor had been busy the last two weeks. Even though Voldemort was gone (for now), the Death Eaters were causing as much mayhem as ever. The more fanatical ones were in a frenzy, attacking anyone and everyone, Muggles, Muggleborns, anyone they saw as an enemy. There had been little order when they had Voldemort to follow, and there was even less now.

That was without even going into the ones who believed they could find him, such as the LeStranges and Barty Crouch Jr. The Longbottoms…Dumbledore figured he could add them to the list of his failures. He should have had them under protection, anyways. Voldemort could have easily sent more Death Eaters to kill their son as a precaution.

And then there were the ones turning themselves in to the ministry, claiming to have been under the imperious curse. Needless to say, the aurors were busy. Why was Alastor here?

Alastor took out a letter, glaring at Albus. "I thought you said Potter was going to be raised by someone that would actually take care of him."

Albus took the letter. He frowned. "Yes."

"Good job."

Albus ignored his friend's sarcasm. "What's the problem? I was sure they had enough room. Do the Dursleys not have enough money? I would be more than willing to set up a fund for them-"

"_Merlin's beard, no!_ Just read the bloody letter, Albus!" Alastor's eye was moving rapidly, as if trying to show its owner's frustration. Albus unfolded the letter (which had already been taken out of its envelope and read, and Albus noticed several signs of detection spells being ran over it. Typical Alastor) and read it slowly, dread growing as he did.

Dear Albus,

Harry

I don't think

Are you sure

I don't know how to put this. You say that Harry has been placed with his relatives, the Dursleys? You do mean, these Dursleys, right? At number 4, Privet Drive? In Surrey? Those Dursley?

Well, first of all, have you ever met

I'm just not sure that these people are the best to take care of Harry.

Albus became even more worried as he read this. Arabella was now the second person to say this…He read on.

However, the bigger issue is that they aren't taking care of him. I don't think they have him at all Albus!

Albus read that again. And again. He looked up to Alastor, his face conveying his shock. "They don't have him?"

"As far as we can tell? No. In fact, we don't think they kept him for a single day. A single day, Albus!" Alastor's eyes rolled, in different directions, mind. It was actually sort of funny, but Albus was too horrified by the letter. "You can skip the rest of the letter. It's most just a list of vocabulary words to use against the next Death Eaters I catch."

Albus leaned towards the desk, and put his head in his hand. He'd never felt so old. And he'd never felt like such a fool…

_"The worst sort of Muggles imaginable…"_

Why hadn't he listened to Minerva?

He looked over to Alastor. "What am I going to do?"

"Go over to James and Lily's grave, get on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Maybe they won't come back to haunt you. Imagine James coming back…He'd be worse than Peeves." For a moment Alastor was silent, no doubt recalling the many Order meetings in which James goofed off, often pulling everyone else with him. Alastor kept him in line more often than anyone else. He probably missed those times. "No, really, the first thing you can do is contact Remus. He deserves to know. He needs to know. He loves the boy, Albus, and frankly, I was tempted to take the boy and give him to Remus from the beginning."

"The blood wards…" Albus tried to explain half-heartedly.

"Forget the stupid blood wards! Bloody hell, Albus, obviously they didn't work that well if he didn't even make it inside! Who knows who has the boy now? It could be anyone! A drunk, a criminal, some wild animal…A Death Eater could have him."

Merlin, Albus hoped not. He composed himself. He'd made another mistake, yes. But he refused to let it result in another death (or worse). He would find Harry Potter…and then he'd do …something. He stood up.

"I'm going to speak with Lily's sister," he said determinedly. "If she knows anything useful-"

"No, you aren't," Alastor said. "_Remus_, remember? I am _not_ going to be the one to explain how you lost his friend's son."

Of course. "Of course," Dumbledore responded. "Go round up as many members of the order as you can. This is officially our new goal." He headed to his fireplace, and flooed to where Remus was staying.

Alastor was still in the office. From hunting dark wizards to tracking a lost baby. He wasn't sure which would be more difficult.

* * *

"You told me he'd be safe!" came Remus' horrified shout as Dumbledore finished explaining. "You told me…told me…_Why the bloody hell would you leave Harry with them?_ You had to have known James and Lilly weren't on good terms with them! You'd have to have figured there was a good reason _why_. Why would you…?" Remus shook his head. Another fiasco added to his already miserable life. He'd already been a wreck the last couple weeks, mourning James, Lily, and Peter, figuring out what to think about Sirius' betrayal, and _everything_ else. And then Dumbledore comes along and tells him that he had _no bloody clue where Harry was_? Was the world trying to drive Remus mad?

"I'm sorry, Remus," Dumbledore said and Remus could tell that it was sincere. Could tell that Dumbledore was also…upset about this new development. Remus wasn't in the mood for it.

"I don't care how bloody sorry you are!" Remus tried to glare at him. It wasn't a very good glare, truth be told. He put his shoes on, and grabbed his jacket. "Where did you say these Dursleys live?"

Albus went into headmaster mode immediately. "Remus, please don't be rash. You've had such a hard time recently, don't make it worse-"

"_WORSE_? Worse than losing all my friends, and then losing their only son because some senile old man put him with arseholes that didn't even let him in the house?" Remus stopped and glared at Dumbledore again. Much more intimidating. "Again: where. Are. They?"

Dumbledore stared for a moment. Then he sighed, sounding even older than he was. "Number four, Privet Drive. Surrey."

Remus nodded. "I know a place not far from there. I can walk the rest of the way." He apparated away.

Dumbledore was alone with his mistakes.

**So...yeah. Not exactly funny like the other chapters, least I didn't think so...**

**Uh, Dumbledore's not evil in this fic. Sorry. Just a bit of an idiot who defaults to thinking people are good. Sorry if you really, really wanted an evil Dumbledore.**

**Other than that...how was it?**


	8. Chapter 8

The Avenger's lives had quickly grown around Harry. Within two weeks, they'd developed a sort of system. The first of their revisions had included making sure there was always at least two of them taking care of Harry, both for his protection against the evil wizards that may be coming for him, and to protect themselves from any more accidental magic. The ducks had been…annoying, and actually pretty funny in hindsight, but for all they knew the next time may not be. Harry, after all, was only a baby and didn't understand the consequences of any magic he did. It would really figure that he'd accidentally turn one of them into a couch, or something. (Steve had apologized immediately over the ducks in Tony's room, and the others explained the situation to him. He was peeved about the ducks in his room, but a little less so when Bruce explained how Harry was the one that created them. "My couch is a bunch of ducks," he said blankly. "Okay. Better than me being a couch.")

They also set their minds to completing Harry's nursery. Finding things for him to play with, and furniture wasn't difficult. For the first week, however, it had a different color schema virtually every day.

First, it was black and purple.

Then, they left Tony and Bruce alone with Harry.

When they came back, it was a flashy red and gold.

They left Steve and Thor.

They came back to a red, white, and blue nursery.

"Where'd you even _find_ carpet in that shade of blue?"

They left Thor and Clint.

"His room shouldn't be one color," Steve protested. "And you never mentioned that you wanted him to have an all red nursery when we painted it!"

They hadn't really seen that one coming.

"Damn," Tony said while the other Avengers gaped at the green and purple nursery. "Never knew you had it in you!" He grinned. "Welcome to the Superhero Egotist Club, Bruce!" Steve protested that he did not have an ego, and Clint rolled his eyes, throwing in a few comments of his own.

Natasha held Harry in the doorway. "Ignore the babies, Harry," she whispered.

That night, Steve, Bruce, Tony, Clint, and Thor all snuck out of their bedrooms, into Natasha's floor, each carrying their own thing of paint. Seeing each other, they made a break for Harry's nursery.

"JARVIS," Tony whisper-yelled. "Close them out, and help me paint the room."

As he and the others reached the room, however, they found Natasha sitting in the room, Harry sleeping in her arms. "I've gotten paint on my clothes almost every time I've come in here," she said calmly. "You've been painting the walls over and over before it even dried from the last time." The Black Widow looked slightly irritated, and Clint and Tony gulped. "We're finishing this tonight, and after that we are NOT going to touch this room's walls, or its floor again. Understood?"

The male members of the team all nodded quickly, and they got to work painting and replacing the carpet.

What did Harry's nursery ultimately look like?

The carpet was Steve's blue. One wall was Thor's red, another was Tony's gold, another was Bruce's green, and another was Clint's purple. The ceiling was Natasha's input, and fairly neutral to the others. Black. Deciding the walls and especially the ceiling was too plain, Tony convinced them to paint straight wide lines in the middle of each wall, blue like his arc reactor, and connected the to the ceiling, which would light up in the middle.

They observed their work.

"It's…uh, colorful. Kids like colorful," Steve commented.

"It reminds me of…" Bruce paused, deciding just what the room made him think of. "Vomit the day after Halloween."

"Hm." Tony was staring at the walls blankly. "Yeah, you know what? You really _don't_ want to know my thoughts on this."

"You hear that, Harry?" Clint said to the baby. "We've really messed up you nursery this time. I think growing up in this room eliminates any chance you had of growing up normal. Sorry. Least you have us." He smiled as Harry giggled.

After a moment of silence, Thor stepped forward, grinning. "It is perfect!" he declared. The others all looked at him as though he'd lost his mind (even Steve Po. Liteness Rogers).

"Uh, Thor, this is…" Bruce said.

"A mess," Tony finished for him. "Are we talking about the same thing? Cause this is not perfect."

"It is," Thor insisted. He motioned around the room dramatically. "This is why it's been wrong every other time. When we fought for dominance or Harry's nursery, we tried to push each other out. But we are all his family!" he declared, ginning widely. "Each and every one of us. And this room is that truth made physical! A little piece from all of us, given to Harry, as we have done, and will continue to do. And that, my friends, is beautiful." Everyone was silent as he finished.

"I like it," Natasha stated. As everyone looked at her, she continued simply, "It could be worse."

Tony nodded. "If nothing else, we're done with it. And, hey, maybe he'll like it. He's quickly proving to be a weird kid."

"He'll only get weirder with us as parents!" Clint joked.

Bruce smiled, his hand resting on the crib they'd gotten. He gained a slightly hopeful look, and he looked up. "I'm with Thor on this one. It's certainly not some well thought out masterpiece of a room, but we all made it for him. That's good enough."

"He'll always have us," Steve declared. "Even when we're on missions, even if only one or two of us is here, in this room, he has all of us. Even if it's a small part, a color. We're always here for him, in this room."

Remus stormed over to Privet Drive, a frown on his face. Those Dursleys-! He'd never been so furious. Never. He tried to calm himself, the last thing he needed to do was something he'd regret.

Merlin could come back from the grave and burn him alive though, if he didn't do find Harry or die trying!

As he walked down the street he felt stares and glares at him. Some did it from behind his back, he knew. Others did it in his plain sight. He wasn't quite sure which was more annoying. The sneaks, or the just plain rude ones. He wasn't even in a wizarding area. Apparently, he thought, these people just have something against shabby clothes.

Finally he reached his destination. Number four, Privet Drive. He walked up to the door, and knocked. Waiting less than a second he knocked again. Waiting another second…

"Alohomora!" As the door came open, Remus stepped inside. He took in the house. There was an almost ridiculous number of pictures of some fat baby. No sign of Harry anywhere. Remus was getting increasingly angry. He realized someone was yelling at him.

_Dursley._

He turned around swiftly, bringing his wand up against the shocked Muggles. The man was large and purple.

"I ask that you leave my house at once!"

"Where is Harry?" It came out in a deadly calm voice, more threatening than any tone of anger.

"You've broken into my house! We will call the police!" the purple Dursley threatened. Remus did not have the patience today.

"I don't give a rat's ass about your bloody police!" he snapped. "Tell me where Harry is! What did you do with your nephew?" Dursley ranted while his wife screamed. Remus turned his wand to the wall full of pictures.

"Reducto!" Dursley stopped ranting and his wife screamed even louder as the wall blew apart, along with the pictures.

"You, you…!" Dursley's color had faded in an instant. "You madman! You just blew up my wall!"

"I'll blow up your entire house if you don't tell me where Harry is." For a moment Remus felt guilty as he heard Dursley's baby crying from another room…then remembered Harry, how James and Lily died for their child…

And these horrible people didn't even bring him inside.

"Petrificus totalus!" he sent to Petunia as she went for the phone.

"You just, you, you killed my wife!"

"I didn't kill her, you troll-brained moron," Remus snapped. "Look, I don't want this to get any worse." It had already gotten out of hand, he thought miserably. He hadn't really meant to cast spells on them… "I can undo the damage…well, some of it. Er, there isn't much I can do about the wall…Better wizards probably could, but I'm not that good," he rambled nervously. "But I can put your wife back to normal. Just tell me where Harry is." He was trying to remain calm.

"I don't know!" Dursley yelled.

"Expulso!" Another wall blew up. Remus heard creaks—the house was becoming unstable.

"Stop blowing up my bloody walls!"

"Stop making it so tempting to blow you up!" Dursley shrank back, mumbling helplessly. Remus groaned; he felt more like screaming. "Just. Tell. Me. What. Happened."

Dursley gulped. "There, there was a woman."

"What did she look like?"

"Red hair, I think."

"You think? Are you as blind as you are daft?"

"Don't insult me!" He shrank back, expecting another spell.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh, for pity's sake. Go on."

"It was dark out! She, she looked young. A little older than you, maybe. She f-found the…the boy—"

"Harry," Remus corrected angrily. "His name is Harry."

"Found Harry, and tried to give him to us. But then she decided she wanted him," Dursley continued.

"And you just let her take him?" Dursley looked down.

"Incedio!" The couch burst into flames. Dursley jumped back.

"_What the bloody hell was that for?_"

"Anger management!" Remus snapped. "It was either the couch or you." He took a deep breath. He had to get out of here. He didn't know what he was doing; he saw what Lily meant when she'd said that anger brings the worst out of people. He had to leave before he did anything worse.

But first, he had to find Harry. For James, for Lily.

"Do you know anything about this woman? Where she came from? Who she is? What she was doing here?" Dursley thought for a moment, and looked afraid to answer. "Dursley? Your house isn't looking too well, and I'm in a very explosive mood."

"I don't know her name," he said. "But, but she said she was an assassin."

Remus stared a moment. He shook his head. "That's, that's as joke right? It's not funny; I'm not in the mood for jokes. Tell the truth." Dursley refused to look at him. Remus felt white-hot anger burn inside him. "You gave you nephew to an assassin? You bloody fool, you stupid, stupid git!" Remus had never hated anyone so much as this Dursley, this cowardly, stupid, bigoted fool. He had never hated Snape this much, never hated Greyback so much. He raised his wand.

For Lily.

He pointed it at Dursley, who screamed.

For James.

"Confringo."

**Please don't kill me. Umm, heh?**

**Er, so yeah...awkward.**

**I really hope you guys liked this chapter. The only thing I'm sorta worried about here is Remus seeming out of character.**

**Bear in mind, he's just lost all his friends. James and Lily? Dead. Peter? He thinks he's dead. Sirius? Thinks Sirius caused all that. Possible friendship with the Longbottoms, or really any other member of the order? Probably busy, or in the Longbottom's case, tortured to insanity. Now his friend's child is missing, and Dumbledore's kinda annoying in his mistake timing.**

**As a whole...Remus really wasn't in the mood to have uncooperative Dursley's, AND finding out that they apparently gave Harry over to an ASSASSIN without question.**

**Kinda like Dumbledore's dad, when I think about it. Not bad, or prejudiced, just really mad. So, hopefully this doesn't read as being too OOC.**

**In other news, I've updated Gambler's Stone, The Best Man, and Avengers Tower within the last few days, if any of you want to take a look. Umm...what else was there?**

**Oh, I'm also on fictionpress. I've uploaded one chapter of my own story...Umm, to say the least, response would be much appreciated as I've got...three views and no reviews. Heh. Not trying to force anybody, but, yeah, that would be much appreciated.**


	9. Chapter 9

"Confringo."

Remus heard a crack as he cast it. The spell went towards Dursley, but another spell hit Dursley, knocking him to the ground. Remus' spell went past him, blowing up another wall. Dursley started screaming. Remus looked to the side.

He blinked. "Dumbledore? Minerva?"

Dumbledore looked at him, one of the few times he looked less a kindly old man, and more a stern headmaster. McGonagall was looking at him like he'd just pulled a particularly large prank with the other Marauders.

"Mr. Lupin! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Casting spells on Muggles! Destroying their house! One hundred points from Gryffindor!"

For a moment, Remus was too shocked to say anything. He recovered. "But I'm not a student anymore."

Minerva blinked. "Right. Well, forgive me, but these actions certainly seem the actions of a hormonal, immature teenager."

"What Minerva means to say," Dumbledore said patiently. "Is that you came here far too recklessly. You should have let someone else, someone not so…personally involved come here to question them."

"You're both involved," Remus pointed out. He took a few breaths. He was calming down now.

"We," Minerva said dryly. "Didn't try to blow them up." She looked at Dursley, still screaming. "Even if it is tempting to turn him into a duck or something," she muttered.

"If we had arrived here a second later," Dumbledore told Remus grimly. "You would have earned yourself a one way ticket to Azkaban…unless you wish to join Sirius there, in which case, please continue."

Remus paled. He'd nearly killed Dursley. Blown him up. It was for James and Lily, he tried to reason. But that didn't make as much sense now as it did a minute before. Now it just seemed petty. Ridiculous. Personal, he'd admit. And if James and Lily were there, they'd call him out on it, too.

The best thing he could do for James and Lily was find Harry. Killing Dursley wouldn't help. Being in Azkaban wouldn't help.

"I wasn't thinking," he admitted.

"I know," Dumbledore said calmly. "You were angry, and you had every reason to be. That happens to the best of us." He raised his wand, and repaired almost all the damage that Remus had caused. He turned to Mr. Dursley. "Mr. Dursley, may I have a word with you? Mr. Dursley?"

Mr. Dursley sent a nervous glance at Remus, though he calmed down as he noticed that the walls had been fixed. "Keep that lunatic away from me," he mumbled, motioning towards Remus.

Dumbledore looked over to him. "I have a few questions to ask them myself. I think it may be best if you left."

Remus glared at Dursley before nodding. "I'll just…I'll just be at Headquarters."

* * *

Pepper had been gone on a business trip for over half a month. Tony had been pressuring her into coming back as quickly as she could. He seemed excited, though just what for, she didn't know. And know Tony as she did, she wasn't sure whether to get back quicker, or try and stall for as long as possible. She'd asked what it was he wanted her to see, but he refused to answer. He wanted to surprise her. So it was either something she would love, something he thought she'd love that would make her mad, or something he knows will make her mad, but is doing anyways.

She thought she'd heard something about "Harry," thought she didn't know anyone by the name of Harry. Perhaps it was a new robot Tony had created? Though what a robot named Harry would do, she didn't know.

So now she was coming up the elevator, anxiously guessing at what Tony had brought into the tower now. The door opened. She stepped out, then stopped.

"Tony…?" she said, her voiced quickly rising in pitch. "Is that a—is that a _baby_?"

Tony was holding a baby, as Clint and Natasha took sips of coffee tiredly. Steve and Bruce were looking at something in a computer as Thor spoke to them. Tony grinned, and they all looked over to her.

"Yup! Say hi to Harry," Tony said, walking over.

"What? Where did you…? Tony, where did you get…Harry?" She looked at Harry, and despite her frustration with the random baby in the tower full of superheroes, she felt her mouth turn upwards. Harry giggled.

"I was the one who found him," Natasha spoke up. "It's kind of a long story, but basically I found him a couple weeks ago on a mission, he's a wizard, he's been orphaned, and the relatives he was going to would have been terrible."

Clint nodded. "Neglectful at best, abusive at worst."

"So you've taken the baby and decided to raise him yourselves," Pepper deduced.

Everyone nodded. "We can do it Pepper," Tony said. "I mean, I can afford to raise a kid. I can afford to raise a hundred kids, uh, not that I want to. And we can protect him, and raise him to be a good person. A smart person." He looked at her hopefully. "Um, maybe you could help us a bit though?"

She looked at the others amusedly. "I suppose I've got the most mothering experience," she noted, looking at Tony, who feigned an insulted look. "And I suppose you had me won over at 'orphaned.' Poor boy."

Tony offered Harry to her. "Wanna hold him?"

She took him slowly, smiling at the baby. "Hello, Harry." He laughed reaching towards her face. "So did I hear you say he's a wizard?"

Bruce nodded. "We need to be careful with him. He uh, he turned the couch into d-u-c-k-s," he spell out the last word.

"Fairly harmless," Steve told her. Tony glared at him. "For the most part. But we don't know what he's really capable of."

"So we're being as careful as we can," Tony said.

"Careful?" Pepper looked at him dubiously. "You?"

Tony grinned. "That's why I need you."

* * *

Dumbledore assembled the Order. They sat around a table, some patient, some worried.

"Harry Potter," Dumbledore started, then hesitated, looking remorseful. He sighed. "Harry Potter has disappeared."

Remus, Moody, Arabella, and Minerva didn't react besides looking down sadly, as they already knew. Other Order members were shocked, others angry.

"What?" Dedalus asked. "Disappeared?"

Elphias was shocked. "Albus? Wherever did you put the boy?"

Hagrid was angry, going on about the no-good Dursleys, and then, noticing that Mundungus was checking out a box of fancy silverware, grabbed him and forced him back into his seat.

Oddly, Severus Snape gave one of the more vocal reactions, slamming his fist down, and standing up. "I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were killing the Potters off on purpose. You aren't, of course, but you sure aren't doing a very good job protecting them. First Lily, and her husband," he said, sneering bitterly over the word husband. "and now you lose her only child within a month!"

"Within a day," Remus added wearily. "Apparently, Dumbledore gave Harry to the aunt that hates magic and Lily," _because that makes so much sense_, he thought, "and said aunt never even brought him inside."

Severus observed Lupin, one of his school-days enemies. Everyone else also stared. "You've already spoken to _them_ on the matter?"

Remus nodded. "I didn't even mention the best part. They gave Harry away, to an _assassin_."

Chaos broke out in the order. Severus glared at Dumbledore. "An assassin," he said quietly, only loud enough that Dumbledore could hear. "Lily's son is in the hands of an _assassin_?" He looked about ready to blow up. He looked back to Lupin. "Tell me you're joking!"

"Funny, that's sort of like my own reaction," Remus commented.

"Enough, quiet!" Dumbledore raised his voice, getting everyone's attention. "I made a mistake, a serious misjudgment. That's my fault. But I won't let Harry suffer the consequences." He looked around the table. "Alastor, try and use any ministry resources to find him. Elphias, check around the wizarding communities you know. Arabella, Minerva, try and search the Muggle population."

Diggle looked to him doubtfully. "The Muggle population? You think it may be a Muggle that has him?"

"It may be so," Dumbledore confirmed. "Mundungus, search within the illegal channels you know."

Sturgis Podmore scoffed. "If he finds Harry, he'll probably sell him."

"OY!" Fletcher protested indignantly, looking genuinely scandalized. "I sell people's stuff! Their valuables, their crap they don't need, hopefully things they won't miss. I don't bloody sell their bloody kids! That's a line I'm not crossing, Podmore, and I'm offended by the implications!" He glared at Sturgis. "I'll do my best to find to find the kid and bring him here." He looked to Dumbledore, glaring at him now. "I'm not giving him to his relatives, though." He apparated off, and several other members left as well.

Snape glared at Dumbledore. "And they call you the greatest wizard of the age."

**Ug. Sorry if this sucks. To be fair, I feel like crap. I'm sick, and my thoughts are muggy, and blegh. That said, expect me to go and redo anything I've done while sick, and hopefully it'll be better. I just really want to get as much out now as I can, cause I'm starting college in ten days, so yeah...**

**Sorry, guys.**


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